General Thoughts Archives

Motherhood

Mike and I are in Rock Sound, Eleuthera. We try to take a nice long walk every morning. I find that I look forward to the walk. It lets us explore the town, gets us moving early, and gives us a fresh mind before we sit down to work.

On this early Thursday morning, we set out for our normal walk. We decide to walk by the Ocean Hole. We saw these sweet dogs on the side of the road. We stopped and said hello to them.

The dogs took a liking to us and escorted us to the Ocean Hole, then down the road to every spot we went afterwards. No matter where we stopped, they waited and set out with us when we were ready.

We were walking down this rural road and it looked like one of them saw something in the tall grass. The dog walked slowly, quietly, then it pounced. A baby chick. The mom of the chick started crying and causing a fuss. The dog was determined to catch the chick. He accomplished his goal and the baby chick was in his mouth. He proudly showed us his accomplishment.

The mom of the baby chick wouldn’t stop crying. Mourning the death of her baby. This piercing cry went on for as long as we were in earshot. It made me think…

Don’t we as moms have a piece of us that weeps when one of ours is in pain? Is struggling? I couldn’t get this thought out of my mind. Motherhood, whether it be a chicken or a human, motherhood is the same. Mothers love and protect their own. And grieve when something happens to our babies. I’ll never forget the sound of the chicken crying. I totally understood. I have felt the exact same way.

What’s Wrong with this Reel?

It’s a lazy Sunday anchored off the entrance of Spanish Wells. I decided to take the dinghy over the Meeks Patch and do some fishing. The only fish I caught was a Barracuda…he’s eating something, where are the other fish? Clearly I don’t know how to fish in the Bahamas.

Anyways, the reel was acting weird, seizing up while bringing in the lure or getting stuck when letting the lure out. After the barracuda, I set off back to the boat.

I proceeded to take the reel apart, applying grease to various gears and the like…and then past memories of the Grandfather came to mind. My Grandfather LOVED fishing. I have a ton of memories of him taking me at various stocked lakes around Cincinnati/Hamilton County. He passed when I was 13 or 14. Prior to his death, he has placed an order for a new fishing boat. I never saw that boat, I think it was ultimately given to or purchased by his friend nextdoor. But, I can remember stories of him pulling his boat down to Florida…which I ultimately learned to be Sarasota when I was older, to fish. He’d take me in his backyard and teach me how to cast. He’d teach me how tie a fishing not. He even showed me how he made his own sinkers…he had a couple of lead casts that he’d melt down lead, insert pieces of coat hanger, and make sinkers (the coat hangers were ultimately removed leaving a hole to pass the line).

He retired from the Cincinnati power company, I believe, but I think if he had greater means, he’d be living on the water. There were so many stories of fishing and to this day, looking at old pictures, I see a ton of pictures of their catches. Anyways, I started to wonder where my love of water came from. Was I born with it?

My father used to take me canoeing. He’d always tell my sister and I not to stand up in the boat. One trip on a lake, he stood up to take a picture of something…and over he went with all of his expensive photography equipment. My dad loved water.

I used to take that canoe down the Little Miami River in Cincinnati with my Cousin after my Grandfather passed. My Grandmother would drive us upstream of the river and let us go…oh, the fun two young adolescents can have on a river!

My Stepfather had a runabout. I can remember the many trips boating on the Ohio river after picking up a bucket of chicken. What a blast.

When I was old enough to drive, my Grandmother used to let my cousin and I take the runabout down on the Ohio River…ALONE. What!? We skied and cruised down near downtown.‘

Anyways, when I was a kid, I used to dream of how I’d fix up my Grandfather’s runabout to live on. I figured I could fit a bed up underneath the bow…clearly, these were kid dreams but I’ve long had an attraction for being near, playing on or living on the water.

Sherine got me sailing lessons when we lived in the suburbs of Chicago. Learned to sail on a J-24. Oh what fun. I can remember once I passed my Sailing 101, I somehow came home with a Hunter Sailboat brochure….I’m going to buy one of these one day.

This life I’m living right now has been a work in progress for nearly all of my life. All of my prior boating experiences and boats have one by one built the foundation enabling me to do what we’re doing. I am so very fortunate to be able to realize this dream.

Onwards

We sold our house and left San Jose, CA on October 22, 2022 to pursue my nearly lifelong dream of cruising on a sailboat in the Caribbean. I get bored with the same-old and we’ve been living in California for nearly 18 years but now it was time for something new. Something to push us out of our comfort zone. Something that was going to introduce us to new people and places.

For months prior to October, we spent our time packing and planning. Packing a house of 3500 sq. feet and things we and our three kids have acquired over 18 years was much more challenging than I had imagined. We finally packed up the U-haul on October 22, 2022 of the items we staged to go to the boat and some things that didn’t fit in the Pod that we were sending to Sarasota, FL, our new residence. At the time of writing this, we have 4 storage rooms. Three in Virginia and one in Florida. Two of the storage units in Virginia will ultimately be emptied when we finally return to Virginia to put While One on the hard in June. JK Moving has the rest of our household belongings for long term storage.

I thought I’d start this blog to capture all of the places we’ve either visited or passed through since starting this adventure. This will be a living blog, updated as we visit new places.

San Jose, CA to Sarasota, FL 2022 — 4000+ miles

Gilroy, CA
Los Banos, CA
Kettleman City, CA
San Fernando, CA
Glendale, CA
Pasadena, CA
San Bernardino, CA
Palm Springs, CA
Palm Desert, CA
Blythe, CA (The last place we got Gas at and paid California prices!!!)
Quartzsite, AZ
New Hope, AZ
Phoenix, AZ
Tucson, AZ
Benson, AZ
Wilcox, AZ
Bowie, AZ
San Simon, AZ
Lordsburg, TX
Deming, TX
Las Cruces, TX
White Sands, TX
Santa Rosa, TX
Tucumcari, TX
Amarillo, TX
Pampa, TX
Canadian, TX
Enid, OK
Tulsa, OK
Little Rock, AK
Memphis, TN
Nashville, TN
Hendersonville, TN
Cardiff, TN
Knoxville, TN
Asheville, NC
Statesville, NC
Cornelius, NC
Charlotte, NC
Kannapolis, NC
Greensboro, NC
Durham, NC
Raleigh, NC
Wake Forest, NC
Richmond, VA
West Point, VA
Mathews, VA
Williamsburg, VA
Yorktown, VA
Gloucester, VA
Beaufort, NC
Jacksonville, FL
Tampa, FL
Ocala, FL
Sarasota, FL

Sarasota, FL to Fort Lauderdale, FL (214 Miles)

Venice, FL
Cape Coral, FL
Naples, FL
Fort Lauderdale, FL

Bahamas 2023

Alice Town, Bimini
Bailey Town, Bimini
Great Harbour Cay, Berry Islands
Chub Cay, Berry Islands
Spanish Wells, Eleuthera

Happiness Is a Clean, Unobstructed Set of Solar Panels

A fellow veteran cruiser, Elizabeth Randall, told Sherine that she washes and cleans her panels everyday. Of course, I’ve always been curious about how much it really impacts the panels themselves looking at my panels on top of my two prior homes in San Jose, CA. They get filthy! But of course, in no way am I going up on the room to clean them…but I suspect folks do.

So, I decided to find out. I woke up and checked solar production. While this far from a comprehensive test, I thought I’d report it anyways. If I were to do this right, I’d track solar production over a week or so doing nothing and then track it cleaning the panels. In any case, I think it’s good information.

While One has 4 410W Sunpower Panels run into two MPPT controllers. One for Port and one for Starboard. At ~0900, While One is facing pretty much north due to the strong 20kt winds. I calculated the panels were producing about 298W. I cleaned all the panels and production seemed to increase to about 355W or possibly more. Moving the boom to Port so that it didn’t put a shadow across the panels, production increased to over 500W.

So essentially, cleaning the panels, which were really dirty by the way, produced about 20% more power.

Despite having 1600W of Solar, I can tell you that it hasn’t been enough to completely compensate for our power needs. Granted, we’re not trying to conserve. Yeah, we turn stuff off when we can but the inverter is running 24-7 and we’re powering several computers, Starlink, two freezers and two refrigerators. We generally run the generator when we make water. In any case, despite still running the generator about 6 hours this week, we went from nearly 70% state of charge (SOC) to about 32% SOC between Monday and Saturday morning.

I think my next improvement will be to install a higher current charger from the generator. At present, we only have about 80A capacity to charge our 1320Ah Li Ion battery bank. This would take about 18 hours (likely more) to charge to full. I estimate about 0.5 gallons/hour to run the generator at light loads (which is bad for the engine) so we’re talking 9 gallons or about $45 with $5.00/gallon diesel. Yikes!

Anyways, we can clearly do more to save water and power but “Happy Wife is a Happy Life”.

The Transition is Hard

It’s 75ºF at 5:30pm as I sit in my bean bag chair, eagerly awaiting yet another peaceful, beautiful sunset. I’m not sure what I expected at this point transitioning into a new lifestyle.

Despite folks repeatedly telling me how relaxed I look, I’m not sure I completely feel what they suggest they’re saying. It must be true…at least, I must be way more relaxed than I presented when I was working full-forced at Apple in Cupertino. However, I’d be lying if I told you I felt completely relaxed. Why? What’s going on? Where did I think I’d be in terms of my mental health sitting at Great Harbour Cay in the Bahamas at the end of January?

Clearly, I had a lot of expectations. Winding down my employment at Apple has been far harder than I ever anticipated it would be. I did expect some of the feelings that I’m having, but I guess I didn’t think they’d be so pronounced. It’s tough. After working nearly 18 years at Apple, I don’t know why I think I’d be able to unwind in a few months or less. I’ve spent my entire career at Apple and prior literally killing myself, giving everything I could to the company that fed my family.

It’s so very tough to be working right now. Despite my best efforts of setting expectations to my management and with myself, I find it so very hard to walk the line of earning my paycheck and putting in the 100% I’m accustomed to giving my employer and completely divorcing myself from all that I work on. I don’t know how to do it. I’ve not had to do it before. To be fair, I’m very gracious that Apple has provided this opportunity. I don’t want to leave on a bad note.

I suspect that once April comes, I’m going to go through yet another phase of this lifestyle change. No paycheck. Nothing to schedule may day around other than what I want to do. Until then, I find myself teetering between eagerly anticipating April yet trying to remember to live in the moment and appreciate now for what now is.

29 Day Check-in

We showed up at Zimmerman’s marina in Mathews, VA on November 4th. Today will be about the 29th day I’ve woken up on the boat and so I thought I’d capture some thoughts on this journey.

We’ve had several interruptions along the way. The first handful of days were spend on the hard trying to get the boat ready. Then, there was a couple weeks of waiting for the weather to leave Virginia and round Hatteras. A week or so waiting around in Beaufort, NC before finally throwing in the towel and renting a car to be able to take delivery of our POD at our Sarasota house. Then we had several weeks waiting for the weather in Sarasota before finally making the crossing to Bimini.

A little less than a week at Bimini and back to the states we flew to spend Christmas with family. Good grief, it’s been a tad bit crazy. An now we’re getting ready to close up the boat again for a week as I need to fly back to Cupertino for work.

Suffice it to say, Sherine and I are still trying to figure this whole thing out. We have to remind ourselves this break in ritual is exactly why we set out to do this. We get board with the monotony of the same-old schedule week after week. I’d be lying if I said juggling work with the necessity of traveling back and forth to the states or waiting for the weather wasn’t difficult or a tad frustrating.

I’m starting to recognize now that many of the frustrations, anxieties and challenges I feel now I’ve brought with me and that they haven’t been caused by this new lifestyle. I guess I always had the sense this was the case but had somehow convinced myself this new lifestyle would resolve everything.

Don’t get me wrong. This lifestyle has been doing wonders. While I sit here and complain about the stress, frustration and anxiety I still have, it’s not to say it hasn’t gotten progressively better. At least for me, it takes work and that for anybody considering this lifestyle, don’t be trapped into thinking it will solve all of your problems of your conventional life.

So, there are a few things I can note that we need to work on.

Sherine and I are still working and since Apple is 3 hours behind us, this is particularly challenging. We have not been very good at communicating and planning this time in the morning before which Cupertino finally wakes up.
The time difference also makes it difficult to plan for exercise and also meals. 8pm EST is 5pm PST and to wait until then to eat doesn’t sit well with my stomach. As a result, I’ve not been a particularly good partner in the making of meals. I’m not sure what the right answer here is other than to try to do better on my end to re-schedule my evening meetings — something which has proven to be difficult to do.
We’ve got to figure out how to get regular exercise into our life. On one hand, we are a tad bit more active than when we’re on land, I think. Boat life is not easier than on land, it’s harder…even if it’s just by 10%. That said, one of the reasons for getting out of the rat race has been to focus more on our health and this new lifestyle has been far from successful in allowing us to do this.

It’s official…we suck at this cruising thing!

Ugggh!

Well, it’s been three weeks since we left our boat in Beaufort, NC. At that time, it wasn’t looking like we’d get a weather window to get down to Fort Lauderdale by November 28 and, given this, we’d also have to reschedule the delivery of our Pod…so, we decided to rent a car and drive to Sarasota and to hire a boat captain to deliver the boat down, once the weather window opened. This was an expense I’d rather would have not had to incur.

While One as been at Just Catamarans for a little over a week now. Solar should be done on Wednesday, we’ve been told…but honestly, given our lack of success in schedules lately, I’m not holding my breath.

Sam and Brentley are flying into Florida so we can spend Christmas up at Lecanto. We’ve moved Sam’s flight up so that possibly he could accompany us to Bimini. However, the weather is not looking great for a crossing this Sunday. Yeah, we’re a bit far our so lots of things can happen. The front can speed up or it can slow down. Who knows. But, when you have flights already scheduled from Bimini to FLL and Brentley and her girlfriend flying into TPA on the 22nd, we have constraints!

Yeah, we’re frustrated we couldn’t be at Bimini by now…but as we sit and ponder, we’ve come to realize that the bulk of our frustration is really self-inflicted. The goal for cruising is to wait the weather out and avoid, insomuch as you can predict, any nasty weather and waves. However, when you schedule Pods to be delivered, solar to be installed, flights for Sam and Brentley, flights to get back from Bimini to FLL, etc….it’s REALLY difficult to just go with the flow – Or as they say, as the wind blows.

We did this to ourselves. We’re so used to having things when we want, as we planned them. Had it not been for all of these things, we’d simply wait out the weather in Beaufort, Key Biscayne, Charleston or wherever we happened to be at the time on our boat and exploring new places…but instead, we find ourselves in a limbo of constantly changing plans.

Yes, it’s official…we suck at this cruising thing. Lesson learned. In the future, we’ll do much better.

You Only Get What You Ask For

I graduated from Marquette University in 1992 and at that time, the economy was rather poor. Despite all of my efforts to land a so-called White-collar engineering job, I ultimately decided to take a position at Cincinnati Microwave, a company which made the Passport and Escort radar detectors. The position was through a temp agency and my position was to tune the antenna cavities of the radar receivers on the assembly line. During that time, I continue to look for more “permanent” work.

At some point, management took notice that I actually could do far more than tune microwave antennas and I started working in the test department writing programs to automate test equipment for their fixtures. I continued to look for a more permanent position as well as trying to convince management to hire me full time. Ultimately, I found another position elsewhere and I left. Their loss.

At VL Engineering, a 3 man consultancy, I started at $26,000 a year. It was a great job, I liked working for a small company as I got to wear many hats. I really developed my programming chops and designed all types of products. However, there was no 401(k) program and, to be honest, I’m not even sure how good my healthcare was….if I had it at all. Annual raises were minimum and I received no bonus. It wasn’t until I landed a job a U.S. Robotics that he opened up his pocket book a bit more but by that time, I was already gone.

Sherine and I moved to Chicago. I received a significant boost in salary and Sherine was quickly able to land another engineering position with a similar bump. Dual income and no kids living in Chicago in our mid to late 20’s was awesome.

After several different jobs in Chicago and earning my masters, I was earning significantly more than I was in Cincinnati. Between jobs, Apple gave me a call asking if I wanted to interview. “Apple who?” I thought to myself. We decided to check it out and I flew out, had a grueling day of interviews (including Tony Fadell) and came back home with my tail between my legs. “I’m not going to get the job”, I told Sherine.

Surprisingly they did. I later learned from folks that interviewed me that most folks were impressed on how I held my composure. Who knew. Perspective is everything. Apple offered my $126,000. Looking back on this, I could have gotten way more. That was cheap.

My salary grew relatively quickly and I loved working for Apple. I was at the right place at the right time to have been given the opportunity to work on the first iPhone. I was treated pretty well at Apple but by starting salary was initially so low that the increases were modest. After a period of time, I started to recognize I needed to ask for what I wanted.

First I asked to be a lead System Integrator. Then I asked to be a manager. Then I said I was bored and wanted to do something else. That’s when I started to work on Apple Watch.

After a few years, I was burnt out and needed a change, so I quit. I had probably 4-5 weeks of vacation saved up but I needed something longer. Further, I have anxiety about running out of vacation and always need to have some “in the bank.”. It’s always been my problem, I know. I just need to know I can always escape…but yet I never do.

Management offered for me to take a leave of absence instead and, if I chose to come back within the year I’d get all of my RSU’s and seniority back. I took 9 blissful months off. It actually took 1 month to really decompress. Everyone in my family commented on how noticeably different I was and that the “old Mike was back.”

I’ve been back at Apple 9 year now and I’ve quit 2 more times. The last time I threatened to quit if I didn’t make Distinguished Engineer. I told them I earned it and I was worth it. I had been trying to hire folks of my team and I knew just how talented I was. I knew I could get another job in a heartbeat if I left. I got the promotion.

As mentioned, I told my boss I was retiring back in October. His first question was “when, 3-5 years?”. His next question was, after I said “definitely not” was, “is there something we can do monetarily.”. I told him it’s not about the money and I didn’t need to work.

I got this idea of engineering your resignation from the Financial Samurai. Of course, in order to be able to ask for these things, you have to be reasonably confident of your capabilities and your worth within the organization. There are plenty of folks in every organization that companies would be happy to let go.

We’re starting to discuss the potential extension of my retirement. My boss has suggested he’ll “make it worth my while.”. Of course, he’s not showing his hand. Our dialog is being captured in email. I have warned him, after trying to find slips in the Bahamas, that if he waits to long there will be no guarantee I’ll be able to extend my employment to help bring up my successor. Sherine will not be confident to stay on the boat anchored for a week+ every other two weeks alone. Let’s see what happens.

Regardless, I could care less one way or another. Ff they do make it worth my while, I’ll make it work otherwise, I’ve already decided to leave and the closer I get to October 22, the more excited and at peace I am with the the decision.

Time to make it Worth my While or adios.

The Perfect Storm

This is a delayed post written on September 28, 2022.

Ian is hours from making Landfall on Southwest Florida and over the top of my Father’s house that I have recently purchased from my sister. The Market in Bear market territory. The housing marking contracting and well off its peak and, of course, the threat of Nuclear war from the egomaniac Putin. Yes, this seems like a Perfect Storm for anxiety, worry and angst for almost anybody, let alone someone quickly approaching retirement! The nagging question of “What are you doing?” is like a 90dB siren in my head.

As I sit contemplating this, I figured there’s a lesson in this somewhere although I suspect I’ll have to circle back on this post in 6 months or so with my learnings…

My retirement has been in the works for nearly a year since I first gave notice to my boss. At that time, our investments were near their peaks. Our property had never been appraised higher. The economy was firing on all cylinders. It seemed like the stars and the sun aligned and this was the perfect time to make such a transition. This is not something Sherine and I took lightly. We’re planners. In fact, we’ve been planning this event for many years and the date has been moved at least twice, if not more. Of course, we had been working toward the goal of retirement for 30 years or more, socking away money anywhere we can and investing it smartly.

I recognize that even with everything going on, I’m still very fortunate. In the words of Joe Walsh, “I really can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.”. I’m human after all. I could be better, I know this.

At the end of the day, in the mist of a Storm like this, it’s easy to jump to conclusions quickly. My house, that I just replaced the roof on, will have it’s windows blown in and the house will be flooded. Ian will continue up the coast and cause mass destruction up in Virginia where my boat is sitting. The market will continue to drop 40% and the housing market will completely collapse with 10% mortgage interest rates. Follow this with large-scale deaths due to Nuclear war and a un-rest in the United States due to our ridiculous left and right wing politicians. Yeah, it can get a LOT worse.

But, I have to remind myself that I’m spinning out. I can’t control these things and even further, the likelihood of ALL of these things happening is likely just as unlikely as winning the lottery. At least this is what I hope.

I don’t know what the lessons will be from this. However, I do know this. Firstly, Sherine and I do not make rash decisions. They’re well thought out and we belabor over the smallest of details. Secondly, life is so short. Having just lost another friend to cancer at age 52, I am repeatedly reminded of this. At the end of the day, we’re going to be OK and it’s only money. Lastly, Sherine and I have a very strong marriage and at the end of the day, we’ll have each other.

Finally! We’re Moving Out Today

We’ve literally been packing this house since March. The POD is fully packed…and I mean FULLY but somehow we still have to find room for another half-dozen items or more. We were unable to bring our bikes and a few other items so I guess we’ll be hauling them to Virginia and storing them until June when we sail back to haul While One out.

It’s a little surreal. I’ve been working towards this day for probably a decade or more and to finally see it come to fruition is a huge pile of emotions. I thought I’ve feel relief by now. Perhaps it’s due to lack of sleep. I can’t remember the last time I’ve slept through the night and the past handful of days, it has spread to Sherine as well. I’m excited to do something new yet, at the same time, sad to see this chapter of my life done. Scared that I’m making the wrong decision. Worried about everything that’s going on in the World and in the United States.

The sorting, selling, packing, giving away and moving stuff from one room to the next, to a storage room and back to the house and between storage rooms has been exhausting. We have probably dozens of man/woman days invested in this move and we’re not quite done. In December we have to unload the pod and try to make our new house a home. We have a storage unit in Sarasota because, let’s face it, the 900 sq. ft. house we’re moving into isn’t going to come close to holding our stuff…even after splitting it between long term storage with JK Moving and our boat. I’m trying to live in the moment and appreciate this for every minute…I’m not likely to experience anything like this again in my lifetime. On the other hand, when I’m finally at anchor or at a marina in Bimini in December, that’s when I think it’ll all sink in.

Yesterday evening my retirement was communicated to the greater Apple Watch System team. It was emotional…I expected it to be so but even so, it’s hard to prepare. Looking at a picture shown taken at the factory with iPhone ready to be shipped…a few more pounds, a lot more gray, less hair on my head and no beard. It was a great time. Apple’s been so good to my family and I and I’ve been so fortunate to have had the opportunity to work on two highly successful products that have literally changed the world.

10 Days to go and we’re closing up the door on the U-Haul trailer and heading cross-country.